5 Ways To Stop Caring About What Others Think Of You
We spend way too much of our time thinking of how others perceive us. And this needs to stop.
Now, let me be clear right away. By not caring about what people think of you I don’t mean that you should NEVER care about what ANYONE thinks about you.
No, it doesn’t mean you can be rude, impolite, disrespectful or do anything to hurt people.
And no, it doesn’t mean you should not give any consideration to what the people you care about think of you. If they give their honest opinion about something they disagree with, you should still question yourself.
But what needs to stop is constant SELF-DOUBT.
What needs to stop is not being ourselves in order to please others or because we’re too afraid of being judged.
What absolutely needs to stop is letting the fear of embarrassment, of rejection, of disapproval hold us back. Hold us back from living the life we really want and from pursuing our dreams.
Now, many people pretend they don’t care what others think of them, but how many actually really don’t care ? Less than you think.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these ? Are you :
-Afraid to talk to strangers ?
-Not wearing something because you’re afraid to stand out ?
-Afraid to speak up in a group ?
-Afraid of telling someone at the movies to be quiet ?
-Afraid to be yourself ?
-Afraid of public speaking ?
-Afraid of pursuing your dreams ?
If yes, this article will help you change that. Here are 5 ways to stop letting what people think of you hold you back and to actually start living.
1. Realize that no one actually cares.
We go through our days thinking of how people see us and worry about what they might be thinking.
Walking down the streets. In the bus. At work.
Is my skirt too short ? How’s my hair ?
Or when we do or say something ‘embarrassing’.
Oh boy, I hope no one just saw that.
Did I just say that ? What will they think of me ?
But the truth is that all those people we’re worried about are just like us. We’re all too busy thinking about ourselves. That’s just how most of people’s minds work. So what others do is usually not interesting or important enough to deserve our full attention.
When it is though, when people do judge, it usually only lasts a few seconds/minutes, and they will quickly direct back their thinking to anything related to themselves. But really, most of the time no one is actually thinking about you.
2. Accept the fact that, if people do judge you, there’s nothing you can do about it.
So, as we just said, most of the time no one’s even thinking about you. But yes, there are still many people who will judge. No matter what. Some might even be criticizing you right this second. But, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.
You can’t change how people think of you, no matter what you do. It goes beyond your control. So you just need to accept that you can’t be liked and approved by everyone. And that’s totally okay. If you love yourself you don’t need to base your self-worth on other people's approval.
3. Change your perspective.
Most of the time, you just have no idea what’s going on in people’s head. It’s not even about what ‘they’ think, it’s about what we think ‘they’’re going to think. And usually what we’re really worried about is that what they’re thinking about us may be negative.
They might judge me. They might think I’m not good enough.
Do you often expect something positive like : they’ll probably love me and think I’m great! ?
So we need to change our perspective and stop assuming the worse of others. Give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t always assume that everyone judges.
Another way to look at it is that people might be judging you, they might be admiring you, or they might not even be thinking of you. Unless they say it out loud you will never know for sure what it is they’re thinking, but whatever it is, it’s just none your business.
Whenever you catch yourself worrying about what someone might think repeat this affirmation :
WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS THEIR BUSINESS, NOT MINE.
Other times, you do know exactly that someone is criticizing you. It can be because you overheard people talking behind your back or simply because the person said it out loud.
In that case, remember that the only thing you can control is how it affects you and how you react to it. For that, you need to realize that the negative comments someone makes has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
When people judge you, it tells more about themselves than about you. It usually has to do with their own insecurities and unhappiness.
Yes, because why would someone who is happy and loves their life waste their time gossiping ?
If you think about it, it’s unfortunate that some people have nothing better to do with their time than being judgemental and trying to tear others down…
So, instead of getting upset or taking it to heart (this won’t bring you anywhere), try to change your perspective by seeing that it has nothing to do with you and that their life is rather sad. Send them love instead.
4. Keep expanding your comfort zone.
Now, that’s probably the most important part. To really start seeing change, you need to constantly get out there and start applying the concepts we just discussed.
Make a list of what you’ve been avoiding to do, the things you would really enjoy and the things your heart is telling you to do but that your fear of what people might think of you kept you from doing.
Quitting your job.
Taking a toastmaster class.
Public speaking in front of a large audience.
Start small. It might be scary at first and that’s okay, but keep practicing and with every little achievements, your comfort zone will grow bigger and it will become easier.
The feeling of immense relief and joy you will get is so worth it.
5. Fall in love with your life.
Be too busy living the life of your dreams and doing what you love to give importance to things and people who don’t matter.
Remember that you only get one life. Your time is precious and you really don’t want to waste it worrying about what others may think.